Hello Tessiturans,
(First forum post!)
As part of a larger process of defining Best Practices for Tessitura use at Yale, we are trying to come up with a definitive etiquette for formatting Salutations. We want to decide on a standard Salutation format for constituents who have not expressed a preference to be referred to as "Mr. and Mrs. Bob Jones" or "Bob and Mary Jones" or "Mr. Bob Jones and Mrs. Mary Jones", etc.
The most important concern is to not offend potential patrons by calling them one thing when they would prefer another, but we cannot agree on whether it seems best to default to the classic "Mr. and Mrs. His Name" a la Emily Post (http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/forms_of_address.htm) or some more modern solution that includes both first names. Emily Post is the best-respected Salutation etiquette guide I have found so far.
Please let me know if your organization has defined a style/etiquette guide for Salutations, for when you do not know the Constituent's preference. I would be interested to see either a guide you found or one you established in-house.
Thanks for any advice!
Jessica
Hi Jessica,
I'm not sure if the etiquette is different in the UK (or even between organisations of different types!) but our custom default salutation is based on N1 prefix N1 initial N1 last name; N2 prefix N2 initial N2 last name. This avoids the Mr and Mrs assumption. So, for example we could have Mr B & Mrs J Smith, or Mr N & Mr S Smith, or Ms K & Dr P Smith. With different last names we have for example Ms J Smith & Mr N Green or Mr S Smith & Mrs M Green.
Katie.
That's neat, Katie. I haven't seen much use of a first initial instead of first name in the US (though some orgs. surely do this), but that is similar to the modern etiquette of "Mr. Bob and Mrs. Mary Jones" (instead of "Mr. and Mrs. Bob Jones"). I definitely prefer that style to ignoring the woman's name.
Anyone else want to share their solutions? All thoughts appreciated!
-Jessica
Hi again,
I should have also said that those rules are used for the envelope salutation and I can't off the top of my head remember if they are the same for the letter (I've just logged off Tessitura as I'm about to leave the office!) I have a feeling that salutation is just based on prefix and last name.
Jessica,
Our consortium has adopted the practice of using formal salutations regardless of the patron's preference. So I'm listed as "Mr. and Mrs. Daniel M. Taraborrelli." If the two last names are different we do separate them in the salutation. We also don't allow any nicknames.
This helps us maintain clean and typically non-offensive standards that both box office and development departments can feel safe using. It also helps us to identify potential duplicates. (Are Harold and Harry the same person?) However, because of varying formality preferences and the fact that the primary contact can vary from organization to organization and even from department to department we use alternate salutations extensively.
Dan,
I'm just wondering about your last note - if the primary contact on a record were a woman who has her husband's last name, would your alternate Salutation end up looking different from your example? Or would you still use "Mr. and Mrs. His Name" even if the wife is the one who always interacts with your organization?
Thanks! And I like the part about not using nicknames.
Sorry, for some reason I never got wind of this reply.
Anyway, yes, that alternate salutation would only reflect the woman's name. That actually happens quite a bit.
~Dan