Hi all,
Just wanted to follow on from Chelsea Kauffman's great TLCC2018 forum thread. Living with anxiety and depression can be a difficult ask especially when we are under the intense pressures we get in the arts world such as Presales, Opening Nights and the holiday season. If you have a story you'd like to share, or just some comradery, feel free to share below.
I'll quote Chelsea (hope that's OK) as she said it better than I can.
"So how do you handle being a professional and having a mental illness? How do you cope with insecurities, anxieties, depression, and fear without destroying your team’s confidence in you or without throwing in the towel?
Tell me your story. How do you survive? How do you manage?
I just want to know I’m not alone and that there is a bright future and that I’m doing okay."
I'm our organisations Ticketing, Data Analysis and Tessitura Admin departments so there never seems to be an off season for me.
Chookas (as we say in Oz),
Heath
Hey All,
Time for conference again.
I'm excited! But also already completely overwhelmed.
Among other things, I just found out that I'm probably going to be the only person from my organization attending this year.
That hits me as an anxiety double-whammy, because on the one hand, I'm going to be by myself in a strange city surrounded by hundreds of my closest strangers. Then on the other hand, there's also the anxiety of trying to hit all the important sessions without being able to spread everything out among my team members.
This comes on the heals of my "work-spouse" Almarie, who attended conference with me last year, leaving my org suddenly.
Anyone else feeling stressed about conference? Feeling overwhelmed? Feeling alone?
I would love any advise about how to conquer TLCC with a team of one.
Thanks,
Shelly
Hey Shelly,
Don't overwhelm yourself. You are only one person and you can only absorb so much information. Take your time. If you need a break, take one. If you just can't do another session, don't. Self-care is just as important at TLCC as is attending sessions and networking. Look for friends you know and see what sessions they are attending. Ask them if they'd mind sharing their notes with you and maybe debriefing about the session over a meal at TLCC. If you need a hug, there are lots of database nerd summer camp friends willing and ready to give you one (I love good hugs), just ask. One thing that is a change this year is session length. They are going down to 60 minutes instead of 75. That might also help as there will be less people presenting per session so not as much information coming at you. Like Heath said, it's never just one. You've got thousands of friends (some you don't even know yet) waiting to help you succeed at TLCC. Hugs from your new friend from Las Vegas.
Thank you, Heath and Christopher! I appreciate both your support and your advice.
Chris, I see you knit (but only scarves). Me too! (though I got really ambitious last year and knit a hat). That is very good stress reliever. It's like a fidget cube, but you get to make someones day at the end by giving them a handmade scarf! I'll have to remember to bring my knitting to conference.
Heath, can you tell me more about what you do each night with the Google slides? Is it essentially getting a jump-start on your presentation for the people back home?
Getting my notes together meaningfully was the hardest part of conference last year (last year was my first TLCC). I basically came home, still high as a kite on conference adrenaline, immediately tried to make a giant presentation detailing everything from conference (including notes from sessions my team members attended), had a mental breakdown, and never gave my big presentation. Thankfully, the notes still came in handy throughout the year (topics would come up and I would say, Hey! I have some great notes from Conference on that!).
I'm definitely going to learn from last year's mistakes. Having a strategy going in for how to process all this content is vital. Having an "extraction" plan for getting out of conference and introducing me back into the real world in stages will also be important.
Hi Shelly,
I've been to the conference alone myself. I switch off attendance years with other colleagues so now its only me on the years that I go. Last year was my second conference and my first on my own. I completely get feeling overwhelmed. Especially as, despite what it might seem if you met me in person, I am actually pretty shy. Feeling overwhelmed is twofold for me--and it started even before I got to the conference.
First, the idea that I needed to see as much as I could, cover as many topics as I could so I would bring back all this knowledge. I finally had to admit that if I went to sessions not in my field, just to bring back information, I wasn't being effective, because I didn't know what information was the "right" information. I couldn't contextualize it for my colleagues back home. I made the conscious decision that I would go to the sessions that directly impacted me and my work, and really allow myself to dig into those. That helped get me feeling less overwhelmed from the career side of things.
Harder for me is going against my personality, who is really the girl who just wants to be curled up in a comfy chair reading a book, or watching a British Mystery series on tv (Midsomer Murders, anyone?). Over many years I've developed a facade which makes me (I hope) seem friendly, approachable, chatty, etc. etc. but it's exhausting and when you are on the company's dime it's hard to convince yourself to take time for yourself. Networking nights are hardest, when its post-session chatting, or breakfast etc. I can rely on the topics at hand to help me talk but when its networking, and talking about me, as a person, oh heck no.
My point in all this is don't be like me...take time for yourself, and its ok to be a little selfish about the knowledge you seek out while you are there. Bringing back contextualized, thought out information with ideas and action items in the long run will be more useful to the Symphony.
Reach out and talk to people at the conference, anyone on this thread will be happy to grab a coffee I am sure. PM if you'd like and I'll give you my cell if you need a life line not at the conference. (That goes for anyone). I can be a good listener.
Most of all have fun, all of you. I hope I will see you next year at TLCC2020
Cheers,
Michaela
Michaela-- I am exactly like that too. By which I mean, a "high-functioning" shy person/ "high-functioning" anxious person.
You wouldn't really know it by talking to me. Like you, I try to be very energetic and friendly (albeit, a touch awkward) when talking to people. I have trouble inserting myself into others' conversations, but I don't have much trouble when someone addresses me directly.
All the constant activity and socializing and being in "on-mode" all day really takes a toll on me, though. Going by light-bulb metaphors, I don't so much burn out as I get super-charged and then explode.
I'm going to have to take some quiet time each day to try and come down off the high a little at a time.
100% with you. One of my de-stress techniques when I need a couple of minutes is to play solitaire. Seems silly, but a deck of cards is pretty easy to keep in a bag, and I don't need a lot of room for it. Plus, just the name makes me a little calm.
I identify as a high functioning introvert as well. I can play the social game most times but it takes a mountain of energy and leaves me very drained. It can also lead to a emotional crash which is manageable when I plan for it.
I find great way to balance networking out at TLCC is to have a one-on-one lunch catchup every now and again. I like to set clear timings because I get overly anxious about politeness. Then there are the times it takes me an hour to work up the nerve get out of my hotel room.
If I feel the social overload coming on it can be good to grab someone for a walk and talk. Changing the environment and having one point of focus with out agenda can be effective at riding out the comedown.
The Tessitura staff that's tasked with planning the conference is following this thread with awe and care. All of these responses are what make the Network so incredible. Heath has pointed out that we have added some intentional spaces for you to not feel the pressure to talk, to have permission to unplug and gather your thoughts. As many people have pointed out, it isn't possible to do everything and for those of who design the schedule, we want you to have multiple opportunities to choose from and make the conference your own. This doesn't mean attending everything. If your brain is on overload it can't take in new information. We are eagerly reviewing the latest research in our efforts to continually improve TLCC. That said, you are the best feedback we can receive. Please let us know what's working and what isn't as we try to create a welcoming and comforting space for you to grow.
We can't wait to see you all in Chicago!
Everyone, if I proposed an Open Space discussion for tips on managing burnout during and after conference, would any of you be interested?
I would welcome an Open Space discussion on this and I think it would be of interest to a lot of people too.
Caryl