Since George Floyd's murder there has been a lot of reflexive reactions from non-profit institutions around the world trying to play "catch up " when addressing structural racism and inequality within their ranks. While from the outside this is good, many of these institutions unknowingly or knowingly, put the burden of educating and pushing forward these difficult changes on their BIPOC employee's. I cant tell you how many work shops, DEI seminars or diversity conversations ive been asked to be apart of. It can be overwhelming. Frankly I'm tired. I wanted to see if other folks are having similar thoughts and experiences.
Jason, I understand where you are coming. Personally these are matters that have been bothered my for as long as i can remember. While there been multiple attempts to provoke discussion or action at some point I found myself just finding my own of way dealing with "the way things are". Now finding myself breaking from that mold and having to try to educate others but also having to prepare myself to defend these matters. It's weighs down trying to find the right way to present things or discuss things to ensure that the work nor myself gets discredited. The seminars, workshops, and discussions are truly helping me by not only reminding myself that these are important matters and providing resources, mechanisms, strategies in making progress. But its providing me support that I am not in this alone and that it needs to stay the matter of our attention and focus.
I continuously am trying to remind myself that 'I am not an expert on this', 'I do not speak for all', 'there isn't a magic solution', and probably most importantly 'I will get something wrong'. What's becoming evident that this also must be recognized, understood, and shared with the is the individuals I stand beside in this effort, my colleagues, and the leadership team. And personally this is what weighs on me and wearing at me.