New Year's resolutions suck!
We’ve all felt a variety of this; whether in the weeks/days/minutes after making a resolution wrapped in the excited joy that New Years brings … and realising you’ve not upheld any part of that bargain; or in our wise-and-jaded form recalling the futility of entering into those kinds of pacts. But why do resolutions fail and what can we do to turn that around?
Fitness app Strava surveyed hundreds of people each year and found that mid January was where we were most likely to quit on our resolutions, whilst research from University College London showed that it takes on average 66 days for a habit to stick[1]. When I was with Sydney Dance Company, the analysis team at McKinsey noted that by far our most loyal customers were the ones that joined in March … after a solid routine of work was reestablished and people were committed for the right reasons under the right conditions. But for those of us ND folk with a notoriously complicated relationship with motivation what are the best ways of getting things to stick?
Over the last few months I’ve stumbled across a few complementary examinations on goals and attention from some neurodivergent creators you might be familiar with.
Before we get too deep into the back catalogue of the Journal of Applied Psychology it’s worth pulling apart what we mean for clarity. Our good pal Ryder Carroll, inventor of the Bullet Journal is useful here (and not just because Bullet Journalling makes it back onto my resolution list for the 3rd year in a row). In this article he pulls out the concepts, resolutions, goals, plans, and intentions[2]. The Resolution itself is the commitment to doing the shiny thing, and for most of us this is the easiest thing to do … and of course the easiest thing to drop. But to succeed we also need a few more ingredients. The Goal defines what the outcome of that will be. So in my Bullet Journalling case my resolution will be to take up Bullet Journalling then my goal might be to journal for a full 12 months every day. Next we need a Plan in order to get there. Luckily for me I’ve failed this resolution before, so I have some good ideas to plan better including both keeping it ultra simple and adding daily trackers to my journaling for extra investment. I know I love a good metric and nothing will keep me on track better than a good data set and graphs. Finally is Intention - so what happens when we arrive? In my case the purpose is to establish a measure of order to the chaos of my life and to regain some personal agency over my day. So with a What, How, and Why to my resolution, hopefully I have a better chance of success.
The other thing that is scattered about conversations on resolutions is motivation. My old 1st year Cognitive & Motivational Psychology textbooks are full of theories, from Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, to Victor Vroom’s[3] expectancy theory and the like. Organisational and Social Psychology have even more. They commonly look at motivating factors like internal and external rewards, and the fulfilment of needs. Rewards like salary and benefits fulfil specific physiological needs like shelter and nourishment, whilst flexible hours & inclusion in decision making, can play to other needs for belonging[4]. How extrinsic rewards translate to higher level values varies substantially between individuals, especially when talking to ND folks. Personally, extrinsic rewards don't change much about my self worth and so rarely affect my performance at all, so generally I’ve found intrinsic rewards to be the better option.
But a lot of that speaks fairly broadly, and is not much of a help when you are staring at your front door trying to decide what to do. So what might help us in the moment to achieve our Resolution goals?
We all know there is a difference between having the idea of doing something and actually doing it. It’s like there is a chasm between making a new year's resolution and completing the action. Sometimes the bridge across is pretty strong - if we’ve done it before or we have a keen interest. But other times it can seem more like the end of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom; a rickety rope bridge, threatening to collapse at any moment. Our friend Jessica McCabe from ‘How to ADHD’ talks about the Motivation Bridge here[6]. For some of us bridging that gap in motivation is hard because we have different “planks” on our bridge to get us across. For some people exercising socially with friends is a great motivator. For others it just makes it more complex. Following advice for neurotypical folks, like “just try harder” or using social rewards, won’t get us across a motivational bridge. We have to fill those missing planks with things that work specifically for us.
So when you are stuck getting from motivational Point A to motivational Point B Kaelynn Partlow[7] unpacks a great brain hack using a concept called Behaviour Momentum. If you want to get from something you like (eg: scrolling TikTok) to something you hate (eg: paying your bills) rather than trying to jump straight across, create a set of motivational steps that will make the transition easier. If you transition from scrolling TikTok, to walking the dog, then washing the dishes, to finally paying those bills, you’ve moved in small steps to get from point A to point B dealing with the struggle in manageable bits. The other advantage is that you have done 2 other necessary tasks on the way. It can be a great way to organise your calendar for example if you have a difficult meeting - why not warm your way up to it?
Neurodivergent Polymath Elizabeth Filips unpacks Motivational Mapping[8] as another way of mapping tasks based on the 3 dimensions, energy, attention, and drive. It seems obvious to us that these three things will change throughout the day. Maybe you start off with energy in the morning but it drops through the day until you get to the evening on a low personal battery (ie: you run out of “spoons”). And maybe you start off a bit scattered but you gain focus and clarity through the day as your projects take shape. We can use those changes when we plan our activities.
So what would that look like in action? When mapping your day a high energy but low motivation task might be perfect for the morning when you have that energy but are a bit scattered. That might be doing half an hour of yoga before you start work. Or if you want to overcome the low drive maybe get a motivational boost by exercising with friends. In the evening a low energy but high attention task might be great, like writing a strategic plan. In that way you can map tasks out according to your daily energy, focus and motivation.
For all my good intentions, getting up early for exercise just doesn’t happen, as I have the energy, and moderate motivation, but not the focus. I’m better at swimming laps in the evening when I have lots of drive built up to make that executive function happen. As a bonus it’s a good mediation to pull my attention back into line.
Now adding in Kaelynn’s behavioural momentum to motivational mapping, I’m better at calling cranky customers at midday when I have both attention and energy - and I can work my way up to it by doing an annoying meeting first to give me momentum to keep going on a task I might not like.
At other times when motivation is ever a big problem I tend to preload my brain by priming it’s attention with something both fun and on topic. If I need to prepare for interviews I’ll go on a short walk and I’ll listen to a Malcolm Gladwell and Adam Grant podcast about being open to the right staff for the job, to get me thinking. If I have a piece of content I’m struggling with I can phone a friend to help me edit it or bullet point it out.
Fundamentally, it’s easier to focus on tasks that you are interested and passionate about, and working with people you love, because they feed your brain dopamine. Forcing yourself to work on a task that you are not interested in can lead to anxiety and frustration. Luckily there are a bunch of ways to bridge that gap.
Wishing you all the best with your Resolutions/Goals/Intentions/Plans in 2023
[1] How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world, Lally, Van Jaarsveld, Potts & Wardle 2010 http://repositorio.ispa.pt/bitstream/10400.12/3364/1/IJSP_998-1009.pdf
[2] Carroll, R. 2021 Plans vs Goals vs Resolutions vs Intentions https://bulletjournal.com/blogs/bulletjournalist/resolutions_vs_intentions
[3] The psychologist, and not a phase 5 MCU villain to my knowledge Understanding The Psychology Of Motivation, AIPC https://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2022/03/11/understanding-the-psychology-of-motivation/
[4] The science of motivation, Murayama, K. 2018 https://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/2018/06/motivation
& What is Motivation, Cherry, K. 2022 https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-motivation-2795378
[5] Understanding employee motivation and organizational performance: Arguments for a set-theoretic approach, Lee, M. T & Raschke, R. L. 2016 https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jik.2016.01.004
[6] ADHD and Motivation McCabe, J. 2020 https://youtu.be/OM0Xv0eVGtY
[7] Behaviour momentum Partlow, K. 2022 https://www.instagram.com/reel/Chpb8bOj8yv
[8] How I Can Study 10h a Day: The Perfect Schedule for Chaotic People Filips, E. 2022 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8EaeKusFvA
Additude posted an interesting January calendar of reflections and habits that is worth looking at at any time of year. THere are once a day tasks to reduce the overwhelm we might feel on making a complete life change.
https://www.additudemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/additude-happy-new-DAY-january-2023-calendar.pdf
This is a handy and inspiring resource! Thanks for sharing, Heath Wilder!